I love my husband but can someone get him to shut up! I work from home, which means I am always working. I write and I edit, both words and video, so even when I am not actually at the computer I am thinking, planning, writing and editing in my head. I fold laundry and I am think of the opening paragraph of a new article, I load the dishwasher and I think of the special effect I want to use on the current video editing project. I conciously have to turn my mind off at times, so I can communicate with my husband and child. But there are times in the day when they also understand that while I am physically present in the home, I am mentally at work and should not be inturupted unless someone is on fire. I say that they understand, this is a lie – they have been told – they do not understand. The really frustrating thing is that my 4 year old with autism has a much better grasp on this concept than my 50 year old non autistic husband.
The worst times are when my husband is off from work – today – Valentine’s Day – he did not have to go to work until later – Great, he’ll be home in the morning – this should be a help, right? I was running around making gluten free valentine cookies, sealing Scooby Doo Valentines and getting the camera equipment together (all in prep for the big pre-school valentine party today) And while I’m doing all of this I’m writing in my head – this is the routine my son and I have every morning – he eats his breakfast and watches PBS or Playhouse Disney – while I get everything ready and mind write. It works for us.
But now I have my husband doing the stupid question marathon. You ladies know what I’m talking about, when they start asking questions that are completely unnessecary or require an encyclopedia to answer. This morning I heard, Does he need to get dressed for school? No, lets let him go naked, it is Valentine’s Day. Does he need to brush his teeth? No, we can afford the dental bill. Does he need to have his supplement? No let’s stop his whole protocol. Does he need to be at school at 8:30? Yes the schedule is the same as it has been since August. Then the ask Jeeves questions. What channel is the Disney Channel? I don’t know or care -you are holding the remote, figure it out! How many miles away is Castaic? This was not one of the actual questions from this morning – it was from another morning – but it clearly illustrates the level of nuisance questions my husband asks me. My answer to him was “Do I look like mapquest?” After the 50th question this morning I said to him, “What would be nice, what would be helpful is if you would stop asking me questions.” And finally he shut up. Great start to a romantic Valentine’s Day. And I feel like a witch. But I have said to him before – Picture me calling you at work and asking you if our son should go to the bathroom before he goes to school. How many times would I have to do that before you wanted to muzzle me? He laughs because he gets it – It’s stupid – It would be insane of me to call him at work to ask him such a stupid question. And he gets that really he does it to me all the time. He gets it. But then he does it over and over again. We even have a hand signal where I hold up my hand -he is supposed to know that when I do that it means I am in the middle of a creative thought and should be left alone. We’re working on it. Working at home is hard because the boundaries are not clear. So we work on it. We’re Moms it’s what we do. Happy Valentine’s Day